


Sad Boy

by Ship_theboybands



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-08 07:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ship_theboybands/pseuds/Ship_theboybands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall takes the pen in his hand and begins to write, in verses, slow and careful. And for a second it feels like everything slots back into place.</p><p>(It will not be revealed in this fic who Niall's 'boy' is. I know who it is in my head but you can decide)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sad Boy

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to write this longer but I wasn't really enjoying writing it that much so I thought I'd bring it to a close. It's no Shakespeare and the end is quite rushed but I think it defiantly has its moments. Also there might be some typos, I just really wanted to write some Niall. I have a longer fic I'm working on which I might do from Niall's POV but I don't really know yet. Anyway, don't expect anything too heavy and enjoy. Also I might re-write this at a later stage. But I might not do that.

When Niall gets home he is shaking. Partially because he ran home in the rain without a coat and partially because the flashes of the paparazzi startled him, but mostly because he is so angry it hurts. He throws himself against the door and goes limp ,sliding to the floor and crumpling in on himself. He folds himself into a ball, as small as he can go and lets the tears flow freely. He cries silently mostly, but every now and then a quiet sob will escape his lips, and echo through his empty apartment. Empty, empty, empty, cold, cold, cold, sob, sob ,sob.   
He weeps until he's stopped shaking and his hair has dried from the rain but his cheeks are wet with salt water. He hears there words echo through his head, "we'll need to put him on a diet", "Oh god his teeth are disgusting!", "Well there's not too many rumours but we better get him a girlfriend just in case.", "No, your hairs about the only thing you have going for you.", "you've eaten enough for today.", "We can give him a verse but there's only so much that auto tune can do.", "You can sleep when we're done here.", "you can't quit, you sighed a contract." And there words are there but all he can see is that beautiful face. The boy he loves covered in question marks, tears in his eyes, lip quivering, and ,oh god, Niall wishes he'd read the terms and conditions.   
He pokes at the metal in his mouth and it hurts, hurts so badly. He's hungry and he's tired and he misses his boyfriend. He wants to curl up with him on the sofa and eat a McDonald's and bury his face in his neck and breath deeply. But he can't. Niall's boy isn't his anymore. Niall wasn't allowed to be in love. He isn't allowed to be in love.  
He isn't allowed because its not the sort of love that management are looking for, and because it's bad for his image, and it's the whole bands reputation that it effects, and Niall should "stop being so selfish!"  
Selfish, selfish, selfish. His blood boils and his veins pump with the word. He closes his eyes and try's to breath deeply but it's not the same when there's not warm skin pressed against his nose and a hand running through his hair, drawing patterns on his scalp. He jumps up ,draws his fist back and punches the wall so hard his knuckles click and his knees buckle and he leans against the it, feeling his hand throb in a steady beat that says selfish, selfish, selfish. He lets out a single whimper before turning to get in the shower because he has work in an hour. 

Niall remembers walking into work on his first day. Him and his four best friends, climbing on top of each other and chattering animatedly and Niall was so content. He had his boy and he had his career and everyone and everything seemed to be slotting into place around him.

He compares that day to now. He wishes he'd read the terms and conditions.  
Today is just like any other day. Liam is texting Dannielle, looking like he wants to die, and Harry is scratching his head like if he does it enough his curls will fall out. Harry is dying for a hair cut. His hair is heavy and greasy and it hurts when they brush it, so, so much. He's not allowed a haircut. Louis is just sat cross legged, shaking slightly, and Niall knows the diet that he's on isn't healthy. Niall wants to go over and hug him tight, pull him Into his chest and say its going to be okay, but that's not allowed. Zayn is the worst to watch because Niall thinks this whole thing has actually turned him insane. His eyes are wide and he is scratching lightly at the table, he looks hollow. Zayn just wants to see his family. That's not allowed.

"We could run away!"  
"And how far would we get, five international pop stars, trekking across the country together?" Niall asks. Harry responds by whimpering into his shoulder.  
"But don't you miss it Niall, your freedom?" Harry says after a long pause. Niall sees him in his head, his freedom. The boy with the deep eyes and the perfect lips and the arms that hold. He sees him on a beach somewhere, with a kid on his lap, setting out a picnic. But then Niall sees the reality. Niall signed away his freedom when he signed that contract, the one with those terms and conditions.  
"I miss him so much." He says ,but he can hear his voice cracking so he doesn't say anything more.

When Niall gets home he has this strange urge to write. He's not sure what he wants to write but he feels like he really, really has to. He sits at his desk and stares at the pen and paper. His fingers are burning and his heart is racing and suddenly the words are there. Niall takes the pen in his hand and begins to write, in verses, slow and careful. And for a second it feels like everything slots back into place. When he looks down he sees that he has written a poem and it goes like this:

'Sad Boy.

He cried because  
He didn't like this hair  
And the braces hurt   
And he was hungry  
But there was nothing  
He could do about it. 

And he cried because  
He was tired  
So tired   
And his life was falling apart.

And he cried because  
He missed his family  
More than anything   
Even sleep.

And he cried because   
His music  
Wasn't his   
Anymore

And he cried because   
His voice  
Wasn't his  
Anymore

And he cried because  
He was so sick of crying  
And he wanted to stop.  
And he cried because   
He couldn't kiss   
The boy he loved  
Or any boy  
For that matter.

And he cried because  
They owned him  
And there was nothing   
he could do about it.  
-N.H'

Niall stares at it for a long time before he scribbles out his initials and changes it from 'n.h' to 'j.n' because his middle name starts with J and his surname ends with N and he doesn't want anyone to know the poem is his, but he wants to know the poem is his.  
Niall thinks, maybe if he sleeps long enough then 10 years will have passed and he can walk away and never come back. He can settle down with his boy and Harry can cut his hair and Louis can have a McDonald's. And Zayn can go to therapy.

Niall has two pictures which he sleeps next to. A faded photograph of him and his boy, wrapped tightly around each other on a summer day. And a family photograph, nothing fancy, just a camera on a timer at the end of the table on Christmas Day. But looking at it makes Niall's chest hurt.

The poem stays in Niall's draw for a week before he types it up. And in this sudden moment he makes a tumblr account with a different username and he posts the poem for all to see. But the initials stilly say 'j.n' because his middle name starts with J and his surname ends with N and no one else can know the poem is his, but he wants to know the poem is his. 

It gets worse. Louis looks hungry, everyone else looks mad.

Liam crys through the whole meeting.

The poem gets 100+ notes.

It gets worse.

The poem gets 1000+ notes.

It somehow manages to get worse.

The poem has over 10,000 notes. Someone guesses who wrote it. Lots of people guess who wrote it. Some people get it right.

Management are furious. They hit the tables with their fists and scream in Niall's face that they will sue him of every penny he has earned. There's no way he's weaselling out of this contract.

There is a national outcry when Liam sneaks a camera into work and posts footage on Niall's tumblr.

Management are furious.

There is a global outcry.

The next part is a jumble of court hearings and small prints and terms and conditions, but Niall suddenly finds himself stood outside his house. His family are just how he left them but with bags under there eyes and frown lines. As his mother embraces him it's the happiest he's felt in a long time.

Louis has a McDonalds.

Harry gets a haircut.

Zayn doesn't need therapy in the end.

Niall doesn't think his boy will ever want to speak to him again.

Niall's boy speaks to him again.

Niall's boy kisses him again.

They sit on the beach with a child in each lap and a beautiful picnic.

Niall writes some much happier poems, which he then turns into songs. He sings them, with his band, and they make an unsigned album.

The album does okay.

The album does better.

Everything in Niall's life is slotting into place around him and he feels content. 


End file.
